Miss you, George – Memorial Story

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My husbands name was George my Georgie he lost his battle with addiction on 09/09/09 to an overdose of methadone and Xanax he was 35 years old was home from prison for about nine months when he died. Our daughters were 14 and 18 at the time. We both battled heroin addiction for 20 years. One I still battle. I myself am finally clean I got back on methadone in August and haven’t touched dope or Xanax since. I’ve been off and on methadone for years but always used alcohol or Xanax and still shot dope this time is different though. I’m actually utilizing the program, talking to my counselor going to groups and sharing about my husbands death. I blamed myself for so long because I was still fucking up when he came home from his last bid. I tried so hard to do the right thing I just struggled so hard. I couldn’t deal with him being locked up so I used mostly alcohol cause the dope wasn’t working because I was on the program. So he came home and I was drinking heavy and it hurt him because he blamed himself for leaving me alone again we went through a lot of busts together but we always had each other’s backs no matter what. So he took the train ride to the program with me and while I was dosing he bought someone’s dose and a few sticks. I didn’t know until he died on the train I managed to bring him back and the ambulance met us at the next station they brought him to the er and quickly dismissed him as just some junkie and released him. We went home and he was still so high but he was ok you know he was ok. So around ten that night we went to bed and he gave me a kiss told me he was sorry about that morning and that he loved me. He fell asleep and I had my head on his chest like I slept for years .

I remember seeing the clock it was 11:30 and I fell asleep for like four mins I woke up like the life was drawn out of me he wasn’t breathing no heartbeat no pulse he was gone I started CPR and called 911 he was taken to the icu and put on life support but he was gone. We took him off nine days later and he died in my arms. Many people think he used again later on in the evening but he didn’t when you sleep your respitory slows down and his was already slowed from the meth and Xanax because they have such a half life. So be careful please. Georgie was an amazing father and husband, my best friend we still miss him every minute. I lost myself in a gallon of vodka on a daily and came close to death a few times. I’m much better now. Our youngest got hooked on roxys and is currently in rehab. This disease is so insidious. We must come together and help one another don’t be afraid to call someone on their shit if you think there using . Get them help at any and all cost .If it’s you who needs help please ask for it. I know not many people agree with methadone but it saves my life on a daily basis as long as you don’t abuse it or other drugs. Everyone is different and there are many was for recovery I hope you find yours. Save your Georgie and don’t become him yourself. I love you baby forever.

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